Therefore I'd like to propose some modern alternative phrases for the general population to use in everyday speech.
- As happy as a turkey farmer on Thanksgiving. This one speaks to the massive demand for large, unprocessed turkeys on the U.S. holiday Thanksgiving. I do not know what Canadians eat for their holiday of the same name.
- As happy as the grim reaper on Judgment Day. I'd say this is self-explanatory.
- As happy as a squirrel in your walls. Okay, to be honest this one will probably not catch on with the general population. But how many times have you heard that scratching in your walls? It's obnoxious for us humans, but I imagine the squirrel is just pleased it found a warm spot to spend its winter.
Speaking of farmers, go support your local farm stand before it shuts down for the winter. Farmers need your business. Alternatively, we could just start eating farmers.