According to the news this morning, here's what is going to escalate and be the most important piece of news forever:
- A gorilla grabbed a kid and was killed for his efforts. Everyone picks a side and we enter world war animal rights.
- Missing aircraft will start a blame game and all countries involved will nuke each other into oblivion, thus thrusting us into nuclear winter.
- Zika virus evolves to somehow infect all the women and make all our babies die forever. Children of Men is hailed as an apocalyptic prophesy.
- Allergy Season is upon us here in the PNW, and shall destroy us all.
According to me:
Donald T. Rump, serial liar, financial crazy person, and petulant orange child, ekes out a victory over whatever democrat claws its way to the nomination. He immediately declares "the media" illegal and rescinds protections for free speech. He makes abortion illegal, guns mandatory, and immigration impossible. All non-white people currently living in the country are mysteriously disappeared. Plots to assassinate him fail, because the great orange one is imbued with almost otherworldly spry-ness and longevity.
The only question on my mind is whether or not the nation comes to its senses. Do we have more reasonable people than we have die hard party voters? Does anyone else think Trump's sudden appeal to veterans is a ploy to get the military on his side for the coming purge? Everyone keeps telling me "oh, presidents don't have that much power," and that is perfectly true in normal circumstances. But this nation is poised to shit the bed in a big way with this guy.
Patton Oswalt made jokes about GWB and his ability to usher in the bibilcal apocalypse. While I don't belive in sword-mouth-Jesus or the 7-headed-beasties, I do think we're at a critical ethical juncture that could shape the population of this country.
Unfortunately, the echo chamber of the Internet means no one whose mind could be changed will ever read any of this.
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