Where does Santa poop?

So it's two days until Christmas, and I'm really excited! This will be my first year to celebrate most of the holiday with someone else's family. It will also be the first year I get to watch a bunch of little kids open their presents early on Christmas morning. Did I mention I'm so excited!

Thinking about that, however, has made me ponder other things, like Santa Claus. I was listening to the Skepticality podcast, and this week they're talking to a 7 year old who doesn't believe in Santa. He's got some excellent points. Why don't we ever see Santa making DSs and Wiis on TVs and movies? Why do poor kids get fewer toys? Where does Santa poop? I remember how I discovered Santa wasn't real, and I wish now that I'd asked the same questions as that little boy.

I can't remember exactly what age I was when it all went down, but I do remember the situation. Now, I've always been a nosy child; prone to snooping for presents in my mother's closet. This particular year, I found not presents, but wrapping paper. This in itself wasn't a big deal. After all, I'd done my fair share of wrapping gifts, and was perfectly willing and able to accept that my parents might keep their wrapping paper in the closet.

However, bright and early on Christmas morning when I went to look at the bounty from the fat man in red, I noticed something...disconcerting. All of the presents from "Santa" under the tree were wrapped with the paper I had just seen in my parents' closet. I don't recall how I handled this information, but I can almost imagine myself trying to explain it away. "Oh, Santa is just very busy, so he brings the presents to my parents and they wrapped it for him." But eventually I had to come to the conclusion that mommy and daddy were, in fact, Santa Claus.

Of course, as long as I kept getting presents, I didn't care who gave them to me; I was a wee child after all. It makes me wonder, though, what I'll do with my own children some day...