According to legend (the back of my box of Twinnings' English Breakfast Tea), English Breakfast Tea was "originally blended to complement the traditional, hearty English breakfast, from which its name derives." Now, I don't have scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, black pudding, mushrooms, baked beans, hash browns, and half a tomato, but I do have this trusty granola bar. English Breakfast Tea is a black tea blend, and it is full of deliciousness and versatility. It is fantastic with milk and/or sugar. I usually put a spoonful of sugar in it, possibly two if I'm in a mood. Since I'm at work, I've got to brew one cup at a time, and use the little instant bags. My method is as follows:
- Insert tea bag into cup
- Pour hot water into cup (use machine in break area)
- Stir in spoonful or two of sugar
- Let tea sit, covered with napkin/paper towel until I remember it's there
- Remove tea bag. Set aside if I think I will want another cup
- Drink until tea is cool, then add more hot water to finish
Why drink tea instead of coffee to wake up? Simply put, I think coffee tastes like boiled poop with a helping of dirty laundry, and smells the same. Or, to quote Patton Oswalt, it smells like dirt that's been f***ed by a hobo. Tea, if steeped for an appropriate time, tastes like heaven threw up in my mouth. It's wonderful. It's warm. If it becomes less warm, just add a little bit of hot water. You can't do that with coffee. Tea is the best. You wanna disagree? I got a stabbin pencil with your name on it. HOOWAH.
1 comment:
I like Coffee. It has more caffiene than tea, it kicks you in the face and says "get up, jerk." Coffee does NOT taste like dirt. It tastes like the land, soil, a rich loam which is the byproduct of an hoest day's work. Coffee fuels industry, the economy. It's the building block of our civilization, much the way beer was the foundation of the middle ages. Let us not sully it with cream and sugar and flavoring. Don't think of that person ahead of you in line at Starbucks, ordering a drink with more than two words in the name. That's not coffee, why it's not even close! Come America, let us rally back to our mother beverage!
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