Geneva - The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was successfully tested in Sweden for the first time today. Physicists from around the world hope to prove or disprove a number of theorems concerning the building blocks of matter in the universe. Special monitoring equipment, including hypersensetive microphones have been installed along the entire 17 Mile length. Though this is merely the testing phase for the LHC, scientists have already made a remarkable discovery.
It appears that when accelerated to very high speeds, electrons emit a tiny but audible noise that was described by Dr. Gordon Freeman as "Wheeeeee!" When asked to expound on this phenomenon, Dr. Freeman hypothesized that this was caused by the electrons "Having a good 'ol time." Our reporters tried to interview other sources, but The good Dr. kept our attention by further expounding that he heard a distinct "Oomf" when the particles collided, but this phenomena was not recorded, and would need further testing before verified.
"I'd like to push the particles into a beam in the test chamber," said Freeman in response to critics of the Large hadron Collider who have claimed it would cause a resonance cascade when activated at full capacity later this year.
-MacInaw Tully, Sept 10, 2008
No comments:
Post a Comment